November was coming into its final week yet an unseasonable warmer day for North Carolina! The park was brimming full with little ones covering the city playground. Families abound with outdoor gatherings as I took in the festive holiday decor perfectly spread throughout the park. The oversized Christmas tree was quite the holiday welcoming entrance as my daughter and I headed our way to fun! No time was wasted as my daughter began climbing the wooden incline, swinging on the bar of the slide before making her way down smiling over and over! Many play adventures to be had at this unique city park including the most cutting edge steel slides built into the steep hill overlooking the landscape. There where many squeals from the children and adults alike that had my daughters eyes and now moms attention as I followed suit making the climbs up and literally flying down with her. It only took me a few times of cautiously clenching my body and bravely holding on to my daughter who was in sheer delight to note how easily someone like myself could get hurt. As I untangled my legs from the latest most narrow and curvy slide adventure, a mom approaches me to warn about a recent broken ankle her sister endured on the same slide. And with that knowledge and my already concerns, off we went walking back down the hill with much contesting from my daughter. We managed to reroute to the giant sized red cardinal with his holiday hat on display which served as a distraction from the abrupt stop of the fun we, more like she was having on those slides! We continued on enjoying walking the paths of more holiday scenery with beautiful surrounding water to take in before we headed back up the hill to the trendy snack bar to enjoy a sweet popcorn treat. It was a delightful afternoon soon coming to a close as we finished up our snack and enjoyed some indoor play at the adjoining library. We checked out a couple of books and began to make our way to pick up her brother from basketball practice just a few blocks up the road at the nearby church.

With my daughter nestled in her carseat enjoying the remainder of her popcorn and newly checked out winter book, we parked for the remaining few minutes of practice. Soon enough my daughter drifted into her late afternoon nap as I made plans for the upcoming weeks and reviewed some calendar events. After several parents and athletes had come and gone from the rear of the church, I kept a watch prepared to soon see my son sprinting out the door to find me. When finally the coach and director came out, I inquired, “hey, has Ethan come out yet?” “Oh yeah. He left earlier.” “Oh.” I replied a little nervously. “I did tell him to meet me at the park. I’m sure he is there”. (Side note: before dropping off Ethan, I pointed to the nearby park to meet me in the event he needed to leave practice early since right before we arrived he fell on his back and bent his finger during our neighborhood walk and wasn’t sure he would be up to play. Unfortunately I was unfamiliar with the parking layout of this particular church which was not a wrap-around, therefore drop off would be at a different point of pick up which was not visible to where I was waiting at the conclusion of practice). I zipped out of the parking lot preparing a plan in my head to find Ethan. I was relieved my daughter was asleep but also problem solving how to best navigate finding her brother while she was snoozing away securely in her car seat. This particular park is difficult to cover fully except mostly by foot. I chose to quickly park the car at the closest point and run to find Ethan while my daughter continued napping. After a brief run through of the playground and not seeing him, I ran back to the car quickly with the intent to cover more ground while driving around the outer perimeter of the park, hopeful to see Ethan running around looking for me on the sidewalks while my daughter remained comfortable. Two failed attempts of circling, I hurried back to the church parking lot with my son still nowhere in sight. I prepared to park the car again, this time waking my daughter to go back to the playground with me. As I pulled into the parking space with my 80s music still on and my heart beginning to race, the song lyrics played, the search is over. It was then I knew my son would be found. I believed the Holy Spirit was speaking to me through the song lyrics and encouraging my heart.

“We have to find Ethan” I said to my daughter, getting her out of the carseat. As she replied “find Ethan”. “Ethan!!!” I cried out loudly over all the sounds and movements of the park. I was fatigued from carrying my sleepy daughter and my eyes were beginning to become blurry. I could feel my body reacting as I looked around the park yet again. The busyness, the sights and sounds of the park this time were overwhelming. I called my husband aware he could not help me but wanting to keep him informed of what had transpired while not panicking as he was driving back from a soccer tournament with our oldest son still a couple hours away. “What time did he get out of practice?” my husband asked. At this point looking at the time, we realized the search was reaching close to an hour. “I know you can’t help me.” “I’ll call you back” I said while mentally preparing myself to regroup. I paused and prayed softly under my breath, “Holy Spirit help me”.

At this point I had an understanding of the gravity of the situation yet a stillness within that he would be found. I was cleaving to the song lyrics, the search is over. I proceeded back to the snack bar this time to ask the clerk to solicit the park officers for help. I had noticed two town police cars sitting at points of the park as I was driving around earlier looking but no police were inside the vehicles as I considered asking directly for help even then. I needed more eyes to cover the area. The clerk asked, “Do you want me to call 9-1-1?” I thought, if that’s what it takes to get the help of the police here. “Yes!” I was confident having officers enlisted would allow me to cover more ground with a sleepy toddler on my hip and the time dwindling down of daylight, I knew concise and proper action was needed! After providing all the details, a recent picture and introductions, a game plan was developed. “What was he wearing?” The police asked. I could not confidently remember exactly what Ethan was wearing but I knew he had his red basketball shoes in his hands he was so proud of.

When I dropped him off for practice he bolted out of the car excited to show them to a friend and off he went inside. Shoes he was not supposed to have until Christmas but he opened the package before I could hide them! The things we moms remember! Several officers stayed behind to continue looking through the park, as one other officer chaperoned me to the nearby church, saying, “we will find him”. I believed though I was battling an undercurrent of fear and uncertainty. I had heard from the Holy Spirit but how and when was still unclear. “Of my children to get lost, my middle son would be the most resourceful and street smart.” “He is probably back where I first dropped him off.” “Let’s go there!” I said to the officer as we began walking a few blocks towards the church. I was hopeful yet still nervous. As we got closer to the church I felt the anticipation building and to my relief Ethan stood up from the bench directly in view in front of the church holding his red basketball shoes walking towards me. He walked right into my arms as I embraced him so tightly, seeing him wipe his eyes from the tears. I was crying too as I looked up at the officer with his eyes glazed over as he smiled upon us. The joy to have found him and then the questions. “You know my number, why didn’t you call me?” “Mom, everyone looked weird.” “I listened to the church bells about the time”. “I saw your car turn and I tried to chase you down but you were too fast”. “I ran to the park but when I couldn’t find you I went back to the church”.

I would never leave you. I would have stayed here all night until we found you.

And off we went back to the car this time with both my daughter and son safely with me. “We’re definitely getting ice cream at Wendy’s after all this” I said with some humor. By the time my husband called me back we were in the car driving away. We were all relieved and grateful that much more for family, our family now all together. The search was over.

It took some time for me to process this day with much weeping as I felt the intensity of the day all over again. Some of the crying was simply more release needed of all the emotions and some just sheer gratitude that my son was home safely. When he came home from school those first few days following I would intentionally tell Ethan just how grateful I was he was home. It was also in this time of process I encountered the heart of the Father. He reminded me of his lost sons and daughters. The pain, longing, weeping, tears, intensity to find and bring them home. Prodigals, orphans, children missing, kidnapped, trafficked, abused, hidden, adult children misled, misguided and wayward from a Heavenly Father they know not of. Like I experienced and implemented, every resource was exhausted to find the one, my son. It was more than my heart could bear at moments as I sat with daddy God. It marked me forever. The experience, the process and now the full release.

I prophesy to you, the search is over. Your sons and daughters are coming home. They are going to run like my son ran to me with open arms, tears in eyes, grateful to be loved, to be found, the search over. Maybe you even need to come home into Daddy Gods arms to be embraced and in time you both together will talk about the in between – what it was like to be lost and hear for the first time what it is like to have you home.

I love to tell the story: the search is over.

Ashley Shuell, Journalist for Jesus ✍️